1
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<i>NARRATOR".
Another dazzling day in Gotham City...</i>

2
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<i>...a metropolis which prides itself
on family fidelity, paternal devotion...</i>

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<i>...and most particularly,
its annual Mother of the Year presentation.</i>

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And so it gives me a great deal of pleasure...

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...to present the winner
of this year's Mother of the Year Award.

6
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Such a dear little lady.

7
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Won't you say a few words,
Mother of the Year?

8
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:42,085
Why, Mrs. Chairlady,
I'd be happy to say a few words.

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Stick them up!

10
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Now, calm down. Calm down, ladies.

11
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I wanna introduce my boys.

12
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Pretty Boy.

13
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Machine Gun.

14
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And Mad Dog.

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- And now, ladies--
-Ma.

16
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Oh, yeah, my fourth child, a girl, Legs.

17
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All right, boys, let's relieve these ladies
of a few extra pounds.

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- Ha-ha-ha.
-Thanks for letting me come along, Ma.

19
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I don't know whether I should've.

20
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Girls just don't belong in crime.

21
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Ma, I'll prove myself.

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Hand it over, fat lady.

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<i>I'm not fiat. I'm not, I'm not.</i>

24
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The earrings.

25
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Get the ring. The money,
the money in the purse. Go on, boys.

26
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This is bad news, Chief O'Hara.

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Ma Parker and her boys in Gotham City.

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Bad news, commissioner?

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It's disaster.

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They've terrorized almost every other city
in the country.

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But they've never operated
in our fair metropolis before.

32
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Now, there's been a special reason
for that, chief?

33
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Yes, sir. We've got the finest law enforcement
organization there is.

34
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Chief O'Hara, let's give credit
where credit is due, shall we?

35
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<i>L</i> just did.

36
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I mean Batman and Robin,
they're the ones she's always feared.

37
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And you don't think
she's frightened of them anymore?

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I wouldn't venture to guess...

39
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...but I do know it will take the Dynamic Duo
to end her career...

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...once and for all.

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I'll call him, sir.

42
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Gosh, Bruce, Greek is still Greek to me.

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It's Greek to a lot of Greeks too. Heh.

44
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It's one of the world's oldest, most important,
most beautiful languages.

45
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It may be, Aunt Harriet...

46
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...but can't we take a breather
and work out in the gym for a while?

47
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But the mind needs exercise too, Dick.

48
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Well, my mind is getting muscle-bound.

49
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There's an old saying, Dick.

50
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A sound mind and a sound body.
A worthy goal.

51
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Now, what do you wanna do first?

52
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- Parse, conjugate, or decline?
-Decline.

53
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-It's the Batphone, sir.
-Hm? Yes.

54
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It just occurred to me, Dick.

55
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Commissioner Gordon
is a Greek scholar of note.

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He may be able to tell us
more than books and blackboards.

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I'd like to talk to him.

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Excuse us, Aunt Harriet.

59
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You know, Bruce comes up
with such bright ideas.

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Indeed, madam, yes.

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Yes, commissioner?

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Batman, a crisis.

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The infamous Ma Parker
has invaded our fair city.

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We're on our way.

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To the Batpoles.

66
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Why?

67
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This criminal record is incredible.

68
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How, gentlemen?
How has this Ma Parker remained at large?

69
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She's crafty, Batman. She's clever.

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But most of all, she's motherly.

71
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You mean toward her four sons?

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Three sons and a daughter, Batman.

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The girl, if anything,
is even more dangerous than the boys.

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Although Ma Parker only likes boys.

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In fact, she calls every hoodlum her boy.

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She's the greatest mother of them all.

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Surely, a woman with her maternal instinct
can't be all bad.

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Don't let false sentiment trap you, Batman.

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Ma Parker may also be the greatest menace
of your career.

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Holy rocking chair.

81
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Gordon speaking.

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What?

83
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Yes. Fine.

84
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The Gotham police have surrounded
their hideout on Cherry Blossom Road.

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Ma Parker and her family are inside.

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Come on, Robin.

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Let's help a little old lady across the street...

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...and in to the penitentiary.

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All right, Ma Parker, we know you're in there.

90
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We've got the house surrounded.

91
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Hey, Ma, did you hear that?

92
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You eat your vegetables, Machine Gun,
or you ain't gonna get no dessert.

93
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Oh, Ma, I hate carrots.

94
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They're good for your eyes, son,
you eat them, help you shoot straight.

95
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Hey, Mad Dog, that's my grapefruit.

96
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You want it? Take it.

97
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,931
Stop the horseplay, you two.

98
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Ma Parker, you haven't got a chance.

99
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Surrender or we're coming after you.

100
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Ma, do you think they mean it?

101
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You just eat your supper, boys.
I'll take care of them.

102
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- We haven't got a chance.
-We have if we stand in the direct line of fire.

103
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Ma Parker and her boys
are known as the worst shots.

104
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Yeah, maybe.

105
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Here come the Cape Crusaders.

106
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Well, well, guess who's paying us
a social call, Batman and Robin.

107
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Just like I hoped.

108
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Nincompoops, how many times I have
to tell you, Batman and Robin can't hurt us.

109
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They can only help us.

110
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Oh, gee, that's right.

111
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I almost forgot.

112
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Good old Ma.

113
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You mean good old Dynamic Duo?

114
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It's no use, Batman.

115
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Ma Parker has an arsenal in there.
It would take an army to get her out.

116
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Holy gunpowder, Batman. What can we do?

117
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Remember, Robin,
they say an army travels on its stomach.

118
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- I get it, Batman. We crawl on the roof.
-Precisely, Robin.

119
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This time, it won't be necessary
to use Batropes.

120
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What's happening, Ma'?

121
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Batman and Robin are climbing up
the side of the house.

122
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Where are they now, Ma?

123
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Oh, they're crawling along the drain pipe.

124
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Boy, that was some meal, Ma.

125
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Oh, they've reached the window.

126
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Hey, Ma, what's for dessert?

127
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Apple pie.

128
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Oh, they're coming through it.

129
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They sure are.

130
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- Batman, look out for Ma Parker.
-This Batmagnet should do the trick.

131
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Legs, clear the table. Go get him, boys.

132
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My babies.

133
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My boys, my poor boys.

134
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What have you done to them, Batman?

135
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:11,112
Sorry, Ma Parker, violence begets violence.

136
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Oh, Pretty Boy, you're bleeding.
You're bleeding.

137
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,827
It's only ketchup. A bottle fell on him.

138
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:21,539
Oh, Batman, please,
please don't hurt my boys.

139
00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:24,083
The law will see to their punishment, not I.

140
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,378
But, Batman, I'm only a poor mother
all alone...

141
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...trying to raise my little brood
the best I know how.

142
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I didn't mean any harm.

143
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I'm sure the law
will deal with you mercifully, Ma.

144
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Oh, thank you, Batman.

145
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I always knew that you had a heart.

146
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,735
Look, Batman and Robin have captured her.

147
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Ohh.

148
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:56,073
Oh, don't shoot, officers.

149
00:10:56,282 --> 00:10:58,701
Don't shoot this old gray head.

150
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,703
Why, she looks like my own mother.

151
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I never meant to harm anybody.

152
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:06,792
I'm just a poor mother trying to get along.

153
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:10,004
Take that, you sentimental fools.

154
00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:12,423
Holy hairdo.
She's got a smoke bomb.

155
00:11:18,179 --> 00:11:20,973
Come on, children, come on.

156
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,935
Batman, they're getting away.

157
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Not if I can help it.

158
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One down, four to go, Robin.

159
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There they go.

160
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- Let's go after them, Batman.
-it's no use.

161
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,911
We couldn't even find the Batmobile
in this smoke.

162
00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:43,704
At least we got one of their gang.

163
00:11:43,913 --> 00:11:47,166
We would've had them all if I hadn't let
my emotions lead me astray.

164
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Mark my word.

165
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:53,631
I won't rest until Ma Parker and her brood
are in Gotham State Penitentiary.

166
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:57,676
Neither will Ma, Batman. Ha-ha-ha!

167
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:09,605
I just programmed the crime computer, Robin.

168
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:12,733
It contains the information
about Ma Parker and her activities.

169
00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:14,276
Holy forecast, Batman.

170
00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:19,657
- Can it really tell us where she'll strike next?
-Criminals invariably follow a pattern, Robin.

171
00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,243
Remember Archer and the way he worked.

172
00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:25,871
I've designed this computer
to trace that pattern electronically.

173
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:27,831
You think of everything.

174
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:32,795
When fighting crime, even the
most minute detail must not be ignored.

175
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Ah. There's the answer.

176
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:46,016
The crime computer points out that Ma Parker's
been robbing wealthy society gatherings.

177
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The box office at the horse show.

178
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The Flower Guild Tea Dance.

179
00:12:51,981 --> 00:12:54,942
A wedding reception
at the Gotham Plaza Hotel.

180
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,194
That may be interesting and very valuable...

181
00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:59,863
...but how can we tell
where she's gonna strike next?

182
00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:04,827
In my everyday role as Bruce Wayne,
I receive many invitations, Robin.

183
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:10,791
Today's social calendar includes the
monthly meeting of the Gotham Breakfast Club.

184
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,585
But that's a little early even for Ma Parker.

185
00:13:14,128 --> 00:13:17,089
There's the mayor's luncheon
for that visiting prince.

186
00:13:17,298 --> 00:13:18,882
But that's too heavily guarded.

187
00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:24,763
And there's a special society gathering,
a benefit at the Bijou Theater this afternoon.

188
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,433
It's been well publicized.

189
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:30,686
Now, that event may attract a wealthier crowd.

190
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:33,355
Bingo. Maybe we better catch that matinee.

191
00:13:33,564 --> 00:13:34,606
Yes, Robin.

192
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,108
We're off to the movies.

193
00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,957
Good work, boys.
That was a four-star performance.

194
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:54,585
Look, Ma.

195
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:58,005
Let's get out of here.

196
00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:04,595
Sonny, would you give a poor old lady
a lift.

197
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:05,846
Beat it, Granny.

198
00:14:06,055 --> 00:14:08,932
Why, is that any way for you
to talk to your elders?

199
00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:10,351
Sorry, ma'am.

200
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,857
I've got a slight headache.

201
00:14:17,066 --> 00:14:19,151
So now, I wanna pick up a pill.

202
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:20,611
Get in the back, kids.

203
00:14:30,371 --> 00:14:34,333
- Okay, Caped Crusader, you got me.
-All right, let's see what's in that case.

204
00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:39,421
- A violin.
-Yeah, Ma wants me to take lessons.

205
00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:42,966
You'll have plenty of time to practice
in the penitentiary.

206
00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:48,555
Everything is going great, Ma.
Just like you planned.

207
00:14:50,099 --> 00:14:53,143
I told you to wear a sweater
in the air-conditioned theater, Mad Dog.

208
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:55,646
- Now you'll catch a cold.
-I'm okay, Ma.

209
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:58,690
That reminds me, I've gotta send Pretty Boy's
long underwear.

210
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,984
And some of my special nutty cookies, huh?

211
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:03,278
I hear the food's good in the pen, Ma.

212
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:05,739
Well, we're soon gonna find out, huh?

213
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:16,166
We've scoured the city, Batman,
no sign of that truck.

214
00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:18,377
There's one more place we might try, Robin.

215
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:22,631
Remember what Ma Parker said
before she got away about a slight headache?

216
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:27,136
- You think she went to a drugstore?
-Perhaps, but not for a headache tablet.

217
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,765
May I suggest you lock your car, sir.

218
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:36,103
Your local police are asking all Gotham City-ites
to cooperate in their current campaign.

219
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:39,148
You might place this sticker on your bumper.

220
00:15:49,158 --> 00:15:50,534
All right, folks, come on.

221
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,245
Just keep filling up the jar,
it's for a worthy cause.

222
00:15:53,454 --> 00:15:55,289
Come on, come on.

223
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,874
This is disgraceful.

224
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,667
Why should I give you my money?

225
00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:01,128
Because we give you trading stamps, dearie.

226
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:03,172
Come on, hand it over.

227
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,466
Looks like almost three grand, Ma.

228
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:08,552
Well, well, you're good for something
even if you are a girl.

229
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,889
Aren't you glad Ma made you study
arithmetic?

230
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,017
I always say there's no substitute
for a good education.

231
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,810
Speaking of arithmetic, Ma, look.

232
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,395
One and one makes two.

233
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:29,448
Her aim is not too good
if the target is moving.

234
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,283
Let's keep it moving.

235
00:16:31,492 --> 00:16:33,118
Look out, Batman.

236
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:39,249
Holy greeting cards. He's out cold.

237
00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:45,214
You saved us, Batman.

238
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:46,882
Yes, but where is Ma Parker?

239
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:50,260
She got away while you were catching that one.
Thank you, Batman.

240
00:16:50,469 --> 00:16:52,429
Thank you, Robin.

241
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:58,101
At least we're taking her boys out of action.

242
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,979
Yes, but remember
what Commissioner Gordon said.

243
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:05,692
Ma Parker's girl is more dangerous
than her three boys.

244
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:09,530
Her legs sort of reminded me of Catwoman's.

245
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:14,117
You're growing up, Robin.

246
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:19,998
Remember, in crime-fighting,
always keep your sights raised.

247
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:23,919
I don't like admitting this, Robin.

248
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:28,840
But even the crime computer
can't tell us where Ma Parker's hideout is.

249
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:33,178
In this mechanized age, it's a wonder that more
machines don't get just as tired as people.

250
00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:35,264
I mean, they have a goof or two coming.

251
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:40,477
She has to be someplace,
and someplace in Gotham City...

252
00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:44,398
...where she can more or less melt
into the background.

253
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,983
Holy camouflage!

254
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,234
Exactly!

255
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,611
Now, where would an old lady go?

256
00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:53,907
These days, just about anywhere.
Look at Aunt Harriet, the way she gets around.

257
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,784
But Ma Parker's different.

258
00:17:55,993 --> 00:18:01,915
I suspect she'd be, at this point,
making a conventional and an orthodox move.

259
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,544
An old people's home
is conventional and orthodox.

260
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,171
But it's only for old people.

261
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,091
You're not only growing up, Robin.

262
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:16,972
But you've just proved that the human brain
is the best thinking machine ever devised.

263
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,975
Gosh, maybe those Greek lessons
are helping after all.

264
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:24,313
And what could be more orthodox
than the Gotham City Old Folks Home...

265
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,399
...on the outskirts of the city?

266
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:30,485
I know it's a needle in a haystack.

267
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,029
It's a leap in the dark.

268
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:35,574
- Well, we leaped before, Batman.
-Let's go.

269
00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:45,834
Here's a picture of Ma Parker.
Have you seen her?

270
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:48,378
Why, she looks just like Mrs. Smith.

271
00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:49,713
Then we found her.

272
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:52,257
But it couldn't be.
Mrs. Smith's an invalid.

273
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:55,636
- I'm sure she's not the one you want.
-Would you point her out?

274
00:18:56,386 --> 00:19:01,058
Why, yes. She should be coming down
the corridor right now.

275
00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:06,104
It sure is nice and quiet, here.
Isn't it, Ma?

276
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,398
So relaxed and pretty.

277
00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:12,027
I don't think it's so relaxed and pretty.
Look.

278
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:16,406
- Look.
-it's Batman and Robin. I surrender.

279
00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:18,075
Not yet. What a nincompoop.

280
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,744
- I knew I should never trust a girl.
-But, Ma--

281
00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:23,538
How many times I have to tell you,
we can't make it look too easy.

282
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:32,381
Holy Wernher von Braun!
Look at that wheelchair go!

283
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,549
How is she gonna get through the wall?

284
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,220
She didn't.

285
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:46,978
All right, all right. Batman, I give up.

286
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:50,148
I knew it was a mistake
ever to come to Gotham City.

287
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,609
You're old enough to know
that crime doesn't pay.

288
00:19:52,818 --> 00:19:54,820
Oh, you're a very bright boy, sonny.

289
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,030
And also a very good boy.

290
00:19:57,239 --> 00:20:00,158
You sure all this running around
is good for you?

291
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:04,371
And you think you get plenty of rest
and nourishment, huh?

292
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:06,748
Let's go, Ma Parker.

293
00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:17,509
I can't help thinking that something's wrong.

294
00:20:21,138 --> 00:20:25,058
<i>NARRATOR".
Sometime later at Gotham State Penitentiary...</i>

295
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,852
Congratulations, Batman and Robin.

296
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,646
Once again,
you put vicious criminals where they belong.

297
00:20:29,855 --> 00:20:33,275
The real work is only beginning, commissioner.
The work of rehabilitation.

298
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:37,028
-Isn't that right, Warden Crichton?
-I'm glad you see it that way, Batman.

299
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:41,199
You see, Ma Parker, boys, you too, miss.

300
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:45,162
Our job at Gotham State Penitentiary
isn't to punish you.

301
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:47,622
It's to help you become useful citizens again.

302
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:51,001
To make you understand
that crime really doesn't pay.

303
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:52,461
Oh.

304
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,505
Not in Gotham City anyway.
Thanks to the Dynamic Duo.

305
00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:58,800
Why, half this prison is filled
with crooks they've caught.

306
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:04,014
That's right. The most notorious,
the most clever criminals are right here.

307
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:05,807
But even if they were to escape...

308
00:21:06,016 --> 00:21:08,852
...we know that Batman and Robin
would bring them right back.

309
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:12,564
- We'd better be going, warden.
- Well, thank you again, Batman, Robin.

310
00:21:12,773 --> 00:21:15,650
You've made me proud of my profession.

311
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:17,444
Warden.

312
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:24,951
All right, guards, take them to their cells.

313
00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:31,708
Didn't you hear me? I said, take Ma Parker
and her children back to the cell block.

314
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:35,003
What's the matter with you?

315
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,340
What's going on around here?

316
00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:40,842
I'll tell you
what's going on around here, warden.

317
00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:44,596
We're taking over your prison. Ha-ha-ha!

318
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:46,473
What?

319
00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:48,642
I've been planning this for months.

320
00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:52,687
One by one, I've been substituting
members of my gang for your guards.

321
00:21:52,896 --> 00:21:55,857
And now, the prison belongs to us.
Ha, ha.

322
00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:58,443
Why, this is incredible.

323
00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:00,779
I don't believe you.

324
00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:03,824
Guards, help. Guards.

325
00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:06,785
It's no use, warden.
Ha, ha.

326
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:11,623
Ahh. So you wanted Batman and Robin
to capture you?

327
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:13,166
Sure thing.

328
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:17,921
Why, warden, we're gonna use
Gotham State Pen for our own purposes.

329
00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:21,466
You said you got some of the smartest crooks
in the country right here.

330
00:22:21,675 --> 00:22:24,511
And now, we got you here too.

331
00:22:24,719 --> 00:22:26,847
You can't prevail.

332
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:29,391
Not with Batman and Robin around.

333
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:33,812
What are you planning?

334
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:36,773
Why, warden, it's already planned.

335
00:22:36,982 --> 00:22:41,319
One of your trustees is taking care
of Batman right now.

336
00:22:57,794 --> 00:23:01,631
Ha, ha. I was just looking
at your great Batmobile engine, Batman.

337
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,091
It does the job.

338
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:06,595
Warden says his car won't do
more than 70 on the road.

339
00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:09,264
I bet you could do a hundred.

340
00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,409
That's right, warden.

341
00:23:29,618 --> 00:23:33,163
When the speedometer hits 60,
the Batmobile blows up.